Funny: the news.

Original email received 18 April 2005.

> >>1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
> >>  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
>country.
> >>  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
> >>country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
> >>  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
> >>but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
> >>their statistics shown in pie charts.
> >>  5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
>the
>
> >>country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to
>leave
>
> >>Southern California to do it.
> >>  6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
> >>country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
> >>  7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
> >>running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat
> >>on the subway.
> >>  8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
>the
> >>country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
> >>intoxicated.
> >>  9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
> >>but need the baseball scores.
> >>  10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
>there
> >>is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose
>all
> >>that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
> >>handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be
>illegal
>
> >>aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they
>are
>
> >>not Republicans.
> >>  11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
> >>grocery store.
> >>  12.  None of these is read by the guy who is running the country into
> >>the ground